“are u crying?” “no I just have swag in my eye”
do u ever watch movies or shows where they have a flashback to a main character’s childhood and it’s so god damn well cast that you think for a second that they built a time machine and filmed the same actor when they were a little kid
WHAT THE FUCK
You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying “I just find it funny how ” because there’s a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.
boys like ’ you only play games to get boys to like you!!!! youre not a real fan’
ah yes when i was five years old and i started playing on a n64 all i could think of was ‘im going to get so much dick for this’
what do you mean it’s inappropriate to have Highway to Hell by AC/DC at my funeral
trying to make a situation better and accidentally making it a worse
Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.